A Long “Tail”

I would definitely put this in a top saddest song/greatest love song list. This seems a little too much for a pet song. This would fit better for my mom, but I like it anyway. Tammy Wynette’s version is less sad. Matter of fact, I’m listening to Wynette’s version now.

I wanted to make an animal tag, and what better way to start is with an entry about dogs? And it suits my name of course. Love animals, and so far I had two dogs in my lifetime.

Last year in July, I lost my dog of 15 years.

To be honest, it’s kind of hard. I would watch youtube of families with their dogs and it can’t be any more therapeutic. Dogs display so much intelligence, character of various kinds, and “pack function” that you wonder if they were human at one time.

I have a few regrets. I felt like I could’ve been a better owner. Maybe what pushed me back from getting another dog was these regrets.


About 12 or 13 here.

One of the stupidest things you could ever do is to take few pictures. And the last vids/photos I had of her were lost from an old phone. Don’t ask why my photos are few, because it’ll prompt me to think of silly excuses. There might’ve been some ridiculous insecurity.

The day after she died, I went to work. I told myself that it’s fine that she passed on because of her age.

But, I underestimated stress on nerves.

When Morrigan did pass, and I had to move her with help, of course I cried a couple of times. The next day, when I had to work, I felt sick. I wanted to believe that it was the effect of medicine, because I had a bout with earache. But I was lying to myself just because it was her time to go. Avoiding reality because of getting older was inevitable.

“A cold?” So I went to work stumbling and heavy. A suffocating feeling? It was only then I explained to Staff what was wrong that I felt better. So they told stubborn me that it was OK.

15 years made its mark.

In December, years and years ago, my first dog Ike died. Of course, I didn’t know anything about THAT IKE because he didn’t exist back then. A month later, my family and I adopted a cheery puppy from another household. Basically went through everything: The teething, the potty training, the separation anxiety, the snuggling, first bark, etc. She became more funny. Her b-day was Dec 23rd.

I don’t think…

I don’t think we trained her that well. She wasn’t aggressive, but she wasn’t an indoor dog type and I rarely walked her. Not the best bather either (she resented getting wet. Heh, have a fresh memory of her jumping over a puddle). It seems inconceivable, even to say such things. Also “M” rarely went to the vet. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why she lived that long?  How could I miss the chances to do these things? With that said, I didn’t get another dog due to my foolishness.

What kind of owner am I? I told myself that after Morg, I’ll try to do better. But until then, I wouldn’t give her less care than anyone else.

Because you know what? No matter what, she always came up to me and let me rub her. As she got older, she couldn’t jump the best, but always kept that tail wagging. It shows where you are, as a owner, in the social part of an animal. She also felt more healthy than I was predicting.

Ike used to wait for me to come off the bus (;_;) Even during the winter. It was the sweetest); Morg would see me enter the driveway. “Oh, welcome home.” It seemed to look like. Or maybe “Yo!”.

A few days before she died, her back legs got worse. She stumbled a few times. I carried her once to help her, and she had to slow down. I thought she was too heavy. For the longest time, I avoided carrying her, but was too determined to help. The fact that she let me carry her w/o barking concerned me.

I regret a few things, but I think I did enough. Even though I could’ve done more.

What is a great pet? A long life could bring repetitiveness, but also light heart moments too.

It’s funny that my tsundere mom says that Morrigan didn’t like her, but she cried too.

She always says that “She keeps walking away from me when I talk to her ;( She’s mean!”. But there was a time when she was locked out of the house and she had to go to the back (where my dog was). The whole time, my dog followed and walked next to my mom. Also, every time, when my dog actually has a chance to enter the house sans the cage, she goes up to my mom and jumps up on her lap.
SO silly, mom. I kept telling her the same stories.



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